i went to the hipster grocery store instead of the ghetto one, & as i was leaving I heard the guy behind me say, "no bag" http://ow.ly/8LV7S

I went to bed at 7 last night. I'm still tired.

I got dressed and then realized there is now way I'm making it to the venue in time to see my friend play. all dressed up and nowhere to go

in the film of my life, Amy Poehler will write the script and Kat Dennings plays me. @themarkjoseph will play himself, as my husband.

"when I eat, it is the food that is scared"

I can't understand exactly what they are saying, but someone in the mail room sounds exactly like tracy jordan.

I started to twat about how my food was late and before I hit send, it came. winning

I'd care a little more about this oscar talk if I had seen any of the movies...

I would really like some mashed potatoes.

things I feel like doing today ___________________

day 2 in a row of a "sick passenger

missing you http://ow.ly/8DP5V

the world is over. I forgot my phone at work.

I did some great garbage picking today.

the @starbucks blonde brew is better than i expected.

this month, I'm going to have to buy my 1st lighter since @sarahhotnites hooked me up w/ all those The Roots lighters

great news. these shirts available again. http://ow.ly/8BE4a

I need a personal assistant

it's true. http://ping.fm/JNaDe

the internet is crawling. I'll take this as motivation to get dressed and do important things.

http://ping.fm/JdqJG new butch video for syntehsizers. thoughts? I'm not diggin it

how am I just finding out there is a project runway all stars?

wearing jeans that actually fit is even more exciting than the number on the tag. Thanks, Donna

I wish I could clock in at work via 4 square. it's much quicker. i'd get an extra 5 minutes of pay!

I almost passed out on the subway.

I am so pleased to hear that Adam has left DRUGS. Stay clean and sober, brother. ;) seewhatididthere

last night, 1/3 of my neighbors shaved their heads. 50% were female. truefacts

I went to an atm that had a slow connection and declined my withdrawal, yet, chase still took the money out. fucking a.

today, I am glad that my apartment is a heat trap.

He mixed you a drink, now you mix him a tape.

"I've seen these before, but I've never actually held one in my hand" Johnny, on a 3-in-1 highlighter. we're definitely related.

does anyone have an old studded belt they don't wear any more? I just realized I can reuse those studs. I'm going to make a bitchin vest.

true story: once I went on an internet date and the guy had photoshopped himself in all his pictures to look muscular where in reality, he was obese.

yessss. trained the unimo interns well! they just walked up and said "hello awesome"

why does klout think I am influential about cars, religion, or middle school? I hate all of these things.

http://ow.ly/8qWR1 I don't know what an interferogram is, but this is fucking cool

I wish that I could shuffle my queue on @spotify

click the photo once you get to my blog to listen :) also, maybe click an ad, yeah? I need some internet money. http://ow.ly/8qW9m

I totally creep out the UNIMO interns. they look at me like I'm crazy. I love it.

parenthood is a great show. I luff it.

I can't wait til I finish my dental plan and pay off my debt. I'm so close to doing something I ENJOY for a living.

on friday I may see a movie. I have not been to a movie theater since I saw True Grit with John.ONE YEAR ago.

there are a lot of things I would like to do on fri night. but I want to keep my title as mom's favorite kid, so I'm sitting on my brother.

I just made grapefruit juice in the blender.

this year is already full of exciting things and promising opportunity.

My back is on FIRE from moving shit around my storage unit and carrying 2 big bags back. I need bikram yoga. I'll settle for a massage. GO

I made the most opinionated metal singer I know speachless. truefact

http://ping.fm/STL0H

The road to "cool" has been long and hard